Are you existing on an island?  I am not talking about living on the geographical type surrounded by water, but one where you isolate yourself from others thinking no one can relate to your current problems.  This island is self-imposed and not found on any maps.  You back away from any helpful hand or compassionate listener for fear that the problem just can't be explained, felt, or helped.  Just know that there are people, known or yet to be found, that understand the kind of pain, grief,  or anger you are experiencing.  Most of all, God knows every form of anguish human beings suffer.

I can relate to some degree what having sick children feels like.  My son, Timmy, has NF1 and needs yearly check ups to keep tabs on any potential problems.  I have come to grips with his NFsince he was a baby.  You hope that no other children have to "out medical visit" your "sickest" child.

Unfortunately, my oldest child Sarah has endured recent weeks with acid reflux and severe constipation leading to missed school days and feeling miserable.  She would describe it as a sloshy stomach which makes her feel like wretching for many minutes.  My wife has taken Sarah to the pediatrician many times and to specialists such as GI and a neurologist for her bad headaches.  Various medicines were prescribed with some having success and others making the problem worse.  Each passing day seemed to be the same with no definable change in her physical problem. 

Since the beginning of 2004, Sarah has "out medically visited" Timmy with office trips and medication costs.  She has experienced a limited diet for all of her life and has endured food intolerences which cause physical discomfort.  As a parent, you think, "When is enough is enough?"  I must admit I wanted someone to stop throwing medicine at the problem and perform tests to see if her stomach or intestinal tract has a defect.  I was putting myself on the island of "W'hy me?"

I can't say that I am more frustrated by Sarah's recent health than her.  I can say that I deeply feel her frustration when I see how she has put up with this daily.  You want someone to identify why she feels terrible or why her stomach has acid reflux problems.  You feel like yelling to the four corners of the earth "Can someone just help my sweet child?"

Yet in the midst of all this agony, I left my island after just a brief stay and concluded God will surely supply the answer through Himself or a doctor.  Don't visit this island because it doesn't provide the answers you seek nor does it allow the correct help to arrive.  Only you can choose to come or go from this place for it exists within you.